Teary-eyed

Still working off a cold. Thankfully it's not worse but it's not much better. Soon and very soon.

I just read Alert the Pizza's post for today and it made me cry. She has 3 children. I've know Pizza for a long time. When we were younger it seemed that she would never get married or have children and I was sure that moments after graduation I'd be married and have 3. Somewhere we flip flopped. Somewhere along the line, I who loved teaching children of all ages and babysat through summers, I became deathly afraid of children, babies especially. Another friend had a baby somewhat recently and I dreaded seeing the baby, meeting the baby and heaven forbid holding the baby. It was a traumatic experience made worse by the filming of it all because I'm sure the horror was plainly on my face.

But last year another friend had a baby and her baby didn't scare me. She was okay. I was able to hold it without feeling complete and overwhelming panic. HA! I just noticed I called her an 'it' and not 'her' in that last sentence. Well I'm not cured of my baby phobia just yet. But reading Pizza's post sure did make me cry. And it made me wonder 'What have I been doing all this time?' I have no idea.