God Took Out My Internet

I promise it's true. I've been without internet today at work for the last six hours. It forced me to look over my stack of lyrics that I've been neglecting lately. I worked on one for awhile and felt stuck so I moved through the stack and settled on one I've been working on for probably the last 5 months, maybe more I guess. I think I underestimate generally.

Anyway, it's call "Walk" and I've been struggling with it a lot. It's one of about 3 songs I've started lately that are meant to be worships songs, to maybe sing in church. I have two songs on "Without Your Breath" that have a Christian vibe to them, "Thy Will Be Done" being pretty obvious and "Without Your Breath" being a little less obvious. It was a struggle for me to even add those to the CD since I've had a difficult time embracing my spiritual side in my music. I sing every week in the choir and love it! But I felt that my rockstar music needed to be secular to be more accessible. As I said in my very first blog, it's hard for me to be honest. I was afraid that if I showed people my religious side, they wouldn't like me as an artist; that maybe I'd seem pushy. So it's been a long, slow road for me to show that side of me. I've made a commitment to. But it's still hard for me.

"Walk" was really important to me, since I was making a decision to intentionally write something for God. So I didn't want to mess it up. I'm still not sure I'm getting it right, which is very important to me. Who wants to mess up a gift they're giving to God, right? So I've struggled and struggled with it.

Today, with the internet out, I worked on it again and it came together. Is it amazing? I wouldn't say that. But I broke into the verse melody finally and cracked translating the Bible verses I wanted into real lines I could sing. It's got work to go but now it's been opened up. It's really close to done now.

I swear to you, God took down my work's internet, messed with everyone's work today, just so that I could get this song. Pretty cool, huh?

Be My Friend

Conspiracy week was cut short. THEY didn't want me to say anything else so they had my husband lure me away from the computer with promises of wine tasting North of Santa Barbara. The wine did it's trick and I no longer remember my other conspiracies. If whatever the men in black did to my memory wears off, I'll continue to type away at their black veil of lies!

Wine country was really nice. I'll post a photo a photo or two sometime. I'm such a light weight. Even without drinking the whole tastes I still got dizzy after the first winery. Silly girl.

So, there is a marketing line of thought that says musicians should be mining myspace to find fans. The idea is, you do a search for someone who does music like you or someone who likes music like you. Then you go to all of their friends and send them friend requests to you. Theoretically they will like your music too and then become your friend.

I've never tried to do this. First, it's kind of a lot of work. I'm sure you know that searching myspace is not the easiest thing in the world. Second, it just seems weird and desperate in some way. Sure, you could say that if you really believe that there is therapeutic value in your music, you should push your music out there to 'heal' whoever might need it. If you don't push, someone who may need to hear a certain song of yours at a certain moment might miss you. Sure. But then, if they are meant to hear you, wouldn't they stumble upon you somehow already?

Nevertheless, I just tried that kind of 'marketing' just now. And...now I'm done. I asked 2 whole people based on this method. It felt so icky and creepy. Searching through their friends felt like looking through their diary or underwear drawer or medicine cabinet. Obviously myspace is a public space, if they didn't want you to see their friends, they wouldn't be up there. But gosh it felt icky.

But, I'm supposed to do this. I've read tons of 'advice to musician' articles that say to do this. So I persevere. I can't just pull up somebody's page and hit the friend link. I feel I need to get to know them first. So read through the page, look for things I actually connect with them on so it doesn't feel like a lie when I say 'hey, I think we should be friends, we both like this one movie so now we're basically soul mates.' I send the request and mention something that I think we match on so that I don't have the cheesy 'hey check out my music please, pretty please, please!' I read through 3 pages and send friend requests to 2 of them.

On the third person, I read through the page and begin to think 'what a neat guy, we do have some things on common, lots of common movies, cool quotes on his page.' So I friend request him. His page doesn't take requests from bands. He doesn't want me wandering around in his friends, bugging him only in the hopes that he or his friends will join my music cult. I feel busted. I feel dirty. I feel sick. No more friend requests. Done.

Speaking of slimy, how does Perez Hilton get invited to the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner? Since when is he a White House Correspondent?

Chili Extravaganza

I'm getting some flack because of my promotions for a new venue I'm playing at tomorrow. My friend, John M, has started a weekly show at Chili My Soul in Encino and he asked me to play a guest set tomorrow. I seriously am very excited to play there!

I know it sounds funny but I can't wait! I've wanted to try out this restaurant for several years now. Yes, years. I make note of interesting restaurants to try and have a long mental list in my head. But, when it comes down to it, I usually just end up going to the same places that are near my house. So now I have an excuse to try a new place out. And it's got a neat draw, they make 30 different kinds of homemade chili! I'm no chili expert or fanatic but I like chili a lot and often on cloudy weekends, we'll brew up our own pot of chili. Mmmm, with crackers and melted cheese. It's a yummy comfort food. So when John asked me to play, heck yeah I'll play.

And, honestly, I won't be disappointed if I'm playing to just John, I just want to check the place out. Yes, I would love to have people come out but it's different. Some shows I stress and worry about if enough people will come to please the venue. I worry about the perfect set list and if everyone is having a good time. This time, I just want to hang out. And if people come, then we will all eat chili and hang out and have a good time. And in the middle I'll hop up and sing a few songs, requests for whoever comes. I just want to enjoy the place.

Some people are giving me a hard time because in my promotions I'm talking up the chili. And recently I've been talking up the chocolate and other food at venues. Look, is beer really that different from place to place? Do you think, man, I can't wait to go to X bar because they serve the best Bud Light in town? Come on. I play tons of coffee houses and bars a year. Yes, I'd like to think that people are coming out just to see me but I don't think I'm that cool. I like finding things for me to like at venues. It needs to be a whole experience for me too. I want to have a good time! Remember, I'm shelling out my own money to eat and often drink at these venues so I want to like the place too.

Huge confession that few people know at this point, I don't drink coffee! I don't like coffee! I play coffee houses all the time and get tea. How different can tea be? So the coffee is not a draw for me. It's the lemon bars, the chocolate, the mini corn dogs and the chili. I won't lie, I love junk food. And me eating something yummy just puts me in a good mood, makes the show better and then we all have a rocking time. So I will always say when there is something good to eat at a venue. And you will probably see me stuffing my face tomorrow night.

Gold stars and B+

Let me say again that Universal Bar and Grill has the coolest vibe! I played there again last night. I was exhausted (yes and I still am) and feeling pretty burnt out as I got ready and drove over to the set. And yet, that place made me feel so good!

There was apparently a showcase playing before the showcase that I was in and the place was packed. It was so nice of Sheena to book me to play after the showcase, a really cool honor actually. I had the chance to play to a whole new group of people and possible who-knows-who were there for the first showcase.

It was so weird. I felt happy and excited in a mellow way to be playing. I had some great friends show up (thank you!) for the show. That was perfect right there. If they had been the only ones I played for then I'd have been fine. But then a packed house as well. Normally stuff like this makes me nervous. Nervous in a bad way. Maybe it was because I was tired that I didn't freak out. But I really don't think that was it. It was a calm. And twice I felt a panic start up but I thought, look, just do what you do and whoever is meant to hear will hear and whoever will be moved will be moved. Who was that talking in my brain? That's not really like me. It was nearly an out of body experience it was so strange.

But my set was really good. Here's part of my after set obsession checklist:
Voice pitch- good/bad?
Lyrics- did you remember all the words?
Guitar- in tune and correct chords, no technical difficulties
Patter- did you remember to say your name(seriously)/website/cds for sale/didn't say anything too ridiculous?
Grace- did you fall, trip, knock over anything, otherwise embarrass yourself

Yes, I seriously go through those things after shows. I've never written a checklist for it before. Amazing yes since I love lists. I've never really thought about it before but I guess it's like grading myself afterwards. I can be pretty hard on myself about any and all of those categories. I can be extremely depressed after sets if I'm not, I guess I'd say in the B+ to A range in any of those. Wow. Seriously, I know I evaluate shows very carefully but yeah, I guess I'm sort of giving myself grades. I'm so weird. Sure I should look at my performance to better my skills but come on, grades? That's just sick. I'm so gold star.

Anyway, last night went well. Probably because I was in such a good place (or at least I was before I started looking at this too closely). Gold stars for pitch & lyrics. Slight frowny faces (B+) for guitar, patter & grace (I did knock into the microphone once with my head.) But really, the vibe was so good in there and the other musicians were so very nice and supportive I don't think the slight frowny faces mattered. It was just fun to be there. Thanks again to those of you who came out. :)

Last minute

So. Tired. Fading. Fast. I stayed up late working on my taxes. Yes, they should have been done weeks ago. They're not. They're still not. And instead of being a good girl and finishing them tonight, I will be out playing a gig tonight.

It's kind of a last minute set. I feel like such a jerk when I send out emails for last minute shows. No, I did not just remember about it and oops, send it out. Yes I know you're busy and don't go to things last minute. Well, even if I'm not busy, I'm not much of a last minute person. I have plans. Even if the plan I've been counting on all day is to go home, eat dinner, watch the Simpsons and go to bed, I get really thrown off if the plan changes. As if I'm not capable of altering my plans. Heck, a telemarketer calls and the night can turn into a disaster. And if dinner takes 15 minutes longer than I thought it would, the entire night is now thrown into chaos. I guess I need time to acclimate to a new plan.

I think I get this from my parents. Once we went to a movie and when we got to the ticket window, it turned out the movie would start nearly a half hour later than we expected. My parents seemed stunned at the news and said, okay, never mind and we got out of line. We started walking back to the car. Let me be clear, the movie had not started yet. We were now very early for the movie. We had extra time to get popcorn or hang out. We didn't have to be anywhere after the movie either so it's not like we were on a time crunch. Obviously, the change in time changed our plans so much that it disturbed them. I volunteered, 'Couldn't we just stay and see the movie at this time? It's now only about 25 minutes away." We discussed it a bit, got back in line and ended up seeing the movie. It was so funny to see them thrown off; not able to make the change right there at the window but instead having to think about it awhile and adjust. They're just crazy. Thank goodness I don't do anything crazy.

MTV broke it, we bought it

I officially signed up for Script Frenzy after posting the blog on it. I have 0 pages written so far. I'm not freaked out yet, though. Still learning the formatting thing.

So last night I watched American Idol. Right off the bat, don't tell me to try out, I would if I could but I've missed their age cut off. YES they have an age cut off. I'm cool with it, be cool with it too.

It was my first time watching this year. I refuse to watch the first episodes where they make fun of people. You know why those people who can't sing look so surprised when Simon tells them they suck? Because the producers tell them they're great and that Simon will love them. Because the producers hype them up and approve them going to the real tryout room with Randy, Simon and Paula so that they'll be upset and make great TV. That's just mean. I don't like that part. I wait until we're in the top 8 or so and then start watching.

Don't get me wrong, I watched almost every episode the first season it came out (excluding the making fun of tryouts) and loved it. I love Simon. I've learned tons from him. And he knows what he's talking about. He understands what it takes to make a rockstar. His business is selling CDs and he knows which acts will do that and the best ways to guide artists to that. I respect his knowledge.

Anyway, I decided today that American Idol is helping to fix what MTV broke. Since the advent of MTV, rockstars have not been judged on their chops or songwriting. They've been judged on their looks, image, style. You can list me hundreds of artists before the 80's (and right on the brink there) who would never have made it if they had to look good in a video. Admit it. But they had great songs and performances. Conversely, Milli Vanilli had a great look. They didn't even sing. And they're not the only ones. Hey I love and respect the performers of the last couple of decades who couldn't really sing but worked their image and/or dancing skills to have huge careers. They worked hard for their success. Absolutely. But, who did you miss out on hearing because they didn't fit on MTV? You don't even know.

I find it cool that, while none of the American Idol winners or finalists are ugly, many of them are not cover-of-a-magazine-hot either. They are there because of their voices. All that matters is - can you deliver the goods? Can you knock people's socks off week after week with your voice?

Hopefully this along with things like itunes (for another day) will help to change the music industry back to what matters. It's not a mystery why music companies are struggling. They've spent too much time and money promoting an image when all people want is good music performed well. What a crazy idea.

Highs and Highs

I am mostly in a good mood this morning. Lots of good things. The only negatives are that I'm really, really tired and I have a headache that just keeps getting worse and worse. It's starting to make me sick to my stomach. I hate that. Of course I think they are related. And I really don't think anything but sleep will fix it. I love my job but I don't think they'll let me sleep at my desk.

Last night I played at a new venue, the Universal Bar & Grill. It was a cool bar. Very old school, unlike lots of the trendy, up tight bars here in LA. I felt comfortable there. Red leather booths and red velvet wallpaper. And a crowd of regulars that really are regulars who probably spend most nights there like at cheers. And though they were regulars, they welcomed all of the musicians like good friends. It was awesome.

The set went well. I'll post the careful constructed set list at the bottom for those of you who are curious. There was no music or tv sounds to compete over. The crowd was attentive yet laid back. Even the bartenders seemed to get into my music. That's a good sign. I was happy with my performance and the flow of everything. People seemed to respond well to the songs. I can't wait to go back.

My other high point since my last blog is that I got a friend request on my myspace. I went to check out their page. I usually do before I say yes. Not that I say no often but partly to actually meet the person I'm going to say I'm friends with and to make sure it's not almost porn. Anyway, I go to their page and they had uploaded my song 'Einstein in a Skirt' to their player! That is so exciting!!! I'm so happy that someone would like my song enough to put it in their player. :) That's awesome! If anyone else already has one of my songs in their player or uploads one, please let me know. It is a huge compliment and I would want to send you huge amounts of thanks. :) So exciting. :)

First Runner Up

I'm working on another song right now. I can't tell you the title of it because it's a secret. No, I'm kidding. I can't tell you the title because I don't know it yet. I have three verses and bridge and a chorus but I don't really like the chorus. It's missing something. Cinnamon perhaps. Whatever it is, it feels very not finished. There is some amazing, profound line that is floating somewhere in the collective unconscious and I am casting out net after net to find it. That is line I'm looking for and that line will be the title. Until then the whole song is lost.

When I get like this I have a process. It's very scientific. Usually I print out the song on a fresh sheet of paper and scribble random stuff in the margins. Words that are close to what I mean that lead to other words that are even further away from what I mean but maybe one will hold my hand and bring me to the right words. Mostly I just end up with lots of printings of the song with scribbles. And I keep going back to the same phrases that are close but not quite. The runner ups. And I think that in some cool stream of consciousness way I'll get to the right words but the runner ups start to get in the way.

I don't even know why I do it this way. In the end, if I find the magic words that I'm looking for, I don't usually have a pen in my hand. It's while I'm walking, driving or washing dishes, something when I'm not concentrating. But how can I possibly find this if I don't even start looking?

What worries me most is that sometimes I never find the profound line. Instead after months of looking, I decide that maybe I'm being too precious with the whole thing and just go with the second best. I rationalize that maybe I'm being too hard on myself and the line I've got is okay. Maybe if I play the song out as is, it will relax something in my brain and let the real line float over to me. Songs with those lines have been recorded and are on my CDs and they smack me in the face every time I come up on them. It doesn't feel good. Certainly it doesn't feel as good as the times when I do find the line and the world shifts and birds sing and lights shine down from the heavens. So I wait a really long time before I give up.

The Wisdom of Loretta

Woohoo! It's time for some speed blogging today my friend. Here are the hits for today!

Booked a second new show at a new venue in the Valley! Psyched that it was at the time and date that I really wanted. Bummed when hours later I got bumped to a later time. Still psyched about the venue. It's a cool little restaurant that usually has jazz. One night a week they do singer/songwriter stuff. It still has the cool jazz atmosphere though.

Got a rejection letter/email for a song I tried to place. Man. These hit me seriously hard. At least they are 'keeping me on file for later.' I sure wish that didn't sound so much like 'don't call us, we'll call you.' I'm supposed to send these out more often?! Are you crazy? Who would volunteer to walk up to people and say 'Please hit me in the gut as hard as you can. And I'll thank you for it.'

And yet I'm still a little positive. Not about the songs I pitched. I guess I should 'pitch' them in trash next. ;) But I've been working on a new song this week and it is lifting my spirits. I mentioned earlier that I wrote the lyrics back in May. Actually, my songwriter friend Jason Riggs (www.jasonriggs.com) is my partner in commiserating crimes. We go back and forth through email about songwriting, especially on the hard days. I had listed to him some conflicts I had in myself and he said I should turn them into a song. So I turned them into lyrics and added a couple more. But I haven't felt a melody for it.

This week I decided it was the right time to make it happen. And it did happen. And now I've been humming it all day long. Take that rejection email! 'Don't You Oppress Me!' as said by Loretta in Life Of Brian. (I like quoting that one a lot.)

Ready, Set, Sing

This morning I'm working on my set list. I have a show coming up on Sunday that I'm pretty excited about. I usually try to write my set lists a couple of days ahead of time. Theoretically then I can practice the set in order and see what songs don't work well next to each other. It's a good theory.

Some people don't make set lists, they just play whatever they feel like when it comes up. That makes me nervous. I suddenly can't remember any of my songs. I stand there after playing two and think, gosh, I don't think I have any others. I say this even though I have 4 CDs of recorded songs and plenty more that I've never recorded. And yet I get this deer-in-headlights reaction in my brain.

So I make set lists. Of course, this does feed into my insane desire to make lists in general. I just have a good excuse to write this one. And, of course I go compulsive on it.

I begin by looking up all of my recent set lists and cutting and pasting them all to one page. Then I number out on a new list how many songs I might fit into the set. Then I start pasting songs into the new list.

Now the juggling begins. I usually find some way to code the list, either with symbols (* - #) or colors. Songs from the 'Without Your Breath' CD, songs from the 'Super Ordinary Girl' CD, older songs than those, brand new songs and covers. I start to shuffle to make sure that I'm not playing too many from any category in a row; usually I keep it at three at the most. After that version, I go back through the list and make sure that I don't have two songs that are in the same key together or two songs that start similarly or have similar structure or too many slow songs together. Similar ideas can always stay together. How could I possibly have a set list keeping the love songs separated. It couldn't happen.

It's probably a whole lot more work than it needs to be. I should just go with the flow. Most people probably don't care what order the songs come in. But I want it to be perfect. I guess that's pretty crazy.

And yes, I realize that I could use the same list over and over again. I do for long periods of time. But new songs are written and other songs come in and out of 'favorite' status all the time. Do you wear the same outfit every Monday just because it's Monday? No, you mix it up with your mood. :)

I'd write more about what must seem like an incredibly boring process but I have a set list to finish.

Jonathan Coulton

I don't think I've written about any of my favorite things or 'things that are in my heart' so it's seems I should fix that.

I want to introduce you to my favorite indie artist, Jonathan Coulton. You can check him out at www.jonathancoulton.com. He's the bomb. Awhile back he decided he was going to go for it; quit his day job and become a full time musician. Easier said than done. Oh sure it's easy to quit your day job. One 'I'm outta here!' and that's covered. But to become a full time musician, to get paid for your music, that's a little harder.

His second step was to promise himself a song a week for a year. That's right. He wrote and produced a song a week for a whole year. And he's a rocking songwriter! Just check out the page. Tons of songs!

Such clever songs! Code Monkey is by far his greatest hit but every time I stop by his page I find another gem. Just today I listened to 'The Presidents.' He seriously lists every American president with a line about them or their presidency. Dude. I can't even name all the presidents. But if I memorize Jonathan's song, I'll get every one of those presidents locked in my brain.

He's a nice guy! I wrote him email yesterday asking him a technical question on his website. He wrote back last night! Last night!? I don't answer email that quickly and I'm not even an internet rockstar. And he shared his secrets. Because he doesn't consider them secrets to hold on to. He's just that kind of guy.

So Jonathan is a great songwriter and a cool guy and he took the leap of faith for his craft. He did it in style. I've been so inspired by him! He did it. He's not on MTV yet but he's living the dream, man. His style, his music, his site and his commitment have inspired me. I've begun reworking my webpage, a work in progress yes, to make my songs for accessible. You'll probably notice changes here and there as I go.

And I've been very tempted to commit myself to a song a week. If only it wasn't copying. Hopefully Jonathan would believe that saying that imitation is the best form of flattery. He's inspired me that connecting with people, getting my music out there, it's all possible. And hopefully you'll connect with him and his music too.