Out of Body Experience

The chili was amazing by the way.

I think I'm sad today. Somedays, when I'm tired, it's hard to tell if I'm sad or just tired but I think I'm sad too. I've been working hard this week on 'putting myself out there' booking shows, working on promotional materials, mailing out lots of emails, etc. When I work on that a lot, I start to feel a strange lost feeling. And it almost feels like I've put myself out there so much that I don't have any more of me left. It's a strange, out of body experience. But I end up feeling lost and tired. I feel like I'm grasping at smoke, trying to collect it all back to me. Usually, after a day or so of this, I start to feel depressed. So I'm trying really hard to pull back again and collect me. I've been doing busy work like updating my website. I'm adding the lyrics now for every song; coding it is mindless but I think that might be what I need. But even that probably isn't enough. I really am an introvert by nature and I think it freaks me out to lose so much energy 'out there.' I'll probably spend the weekend watching movies, in the theater or at home or both. I'll ignore everything I have to do and recharge with other people's energy. By Monday, normally I'd be pretty down. But as I'm becoming more aware of this, maybe I'll be able to call me back in time instead of wandering back through darkness slowly. Maybe I just need more sleep again.